Hello, my name is Eric. I am pretentious and in denial.

How has the day been spent? That is usually the question that I ask myself as I wait to be enveloped by sleep but I decided to change things up a little bit today. It’s two in the afternoon and I’ve been awake for less the four hours. To be truthful, this does not bother me. I probably will not be asleep until four this morning. I just like to think of it as operating on a slightly different schedule. I still spend as much time awake as everyone else does but I have the benefit of skipping over the most useless part of the day: morning. I don’t eat breakfast. I hate sunrises. I despise the gardeners who mow the lawn at my apartment complex. As of this moment, I have typed three pages of a script and scribbled two mediocre poems. This isn’t too bad for it being 2:01. How much do you get done in the first two hours of the morning? To improve your mornings, I would like to offer a few of my tips. 1. Don’t take a shower until you must. Morning showers take far to long because you use them as a means to wake up. Cease being a slave to warm water. 2. Don’t brush your teeth. This rule can be thrown out if you have a significant other but I would still suggest keeping it. Fresh breath might lead to your lover wanting to suffocate you in a barrage of kisses and things of that matter. This will only drain you of energy and precious time. 3. Don’t eat breakfast. If you no longer live with your mother and you are not married, odds are that you are cooking your own meal. This takes a minimum of five minutes. Then you have to eat your meal. Skip it all together. Bonus: you’ll lose weight. Look how much free time we’ve created! Now fill this time with whatever you deem appropriate. This is the note that my blog has been resurrected on. It shall live for as long as I can continue to waste time on it. Poetry, short stories, and other garbage from my mindgrapes will float about on and in its contents. Or I might just rant. I’ll probably just rant.